As a Pagan, I try to think of the Wheel of the Year when I think about the year itself. In part, this is about honoring my ancestors but I also was raised on the Gregorian calendar and followed it most of my life so I must also recognize that this is a legitimate, cultural norm that I am unable to truly escape.
Thusly, last year, when we moved from 2012 to 2013 (even though there were plenty of folks who wondered if the Mayan long count calendar spelled our doom) I never made any "New Year Resolutions", this year I have had a change of heart due to a friend posting his own on a facebook group. I didn't have to think long about them, and I thought perhaps I would list them here, with a few extras and some descriptions, because that just seems like a great idea to me.
1.) I will stop eating unhealthy so often
It is very easy, especially when you don't have a lot of money, to eat unhealthy. Dollar menus and instant gratification are hard to surmount when you are hungry and don't have a lot of cash to spend on healthy food. However, I am not destitute and I eat a lot less these days than I used to. I have a son who watches me eat, I should model good eating habits for him and for myself as well.
2.) I will spend more time with my son
I like spending time with my son but sometimes it gets difficult to do so because of other concerns. I need to put down the computer more (I have been doing this a lot more recently, I just need to make sure I keep it going). He needs his father even though sometimes it seems like mommy is the only person in the room for him. Then I catch him doing something that I do and I realize that even if he is not acting like I am important, he sees what I do and mimics me because that's how kids learn. I need to remember that more.
3.) I will spend my money on things that have value
This is a big one. It's not like I spend money on junk all the time but there are things that I do spend my money on that don't have the value I think they do. I need to be more aware of the value of things to me before I spend money on them. There is a lady I know who makes clothing and she needs some business. I might be able to find something I like online but it won't be personal, it won't be one of a kind and she could use the business so why doesn't it make sense to spend the money with her? I'm doing something that helps both of us out. That is value to me. On the other hand, buying ritual garb online has none of those values and remains some cookie-cutter robe.
4.) I will train for at least 15 minutes every day
I need to spend more time training. Lately it's been about 15-20 minutes of cumulative training per week which is not much at all. I need to work out every other day and train with Sword, Spear and Shield every other day. As I get into that rhythm, I can increase the time.
5.) I will write something every day
I need to journal more for a variety of reasons. I need to spend some time acknowledging the advances and setbacks, establishing patterns and recognizing the things that work for me and do not work. It is easy to forget them when I don't pay attention. I also need to begin writing for pleasure more.
6.) I will spend at least 15 minutes every day making time for my spiritual pursuits
This includes meditation, ritual and research.
7.) I will spend less time on the computer while at home or at work, especially facebook
I am horrible at time management. This is in large part due to the fact that I spend a lot of time goofing off on the computer and less time getting things done. Facebook is a way of keeping up with friends and getting behind on everything else.
8.) I will tell my wife how beautiful she is every day
She is beautiful and I don't tell her that enough. Life gets busy and you let important things fall by the wayside. She should be reminded of how wonderful she is every chance I get. I am bad at this, maybe it's a guy thing, maybe it's absent-mindedness. Maybe I should stop making excuses.
9.) I will honor my Ancestors
It's not that I don't already, but I should also try to learn more about them. Even if I have to spend a little hard earned cash to do so, it would have value to me. Something worthy of remembering.
10.) I will remain honest
I am as honest as I can be. There are times I will avoid a topic because I know that honesty is not always what people want. They want hand holding and a shoulder to cry on. I am good for both of those things as my wife and many of my friends can attest. There are others though that see my honesty as too burdensome and I have lost friends over it in the last couple of months. I have thought long and hard about this, wondering if I am mistaken about being honest and I have come to the conclusion that people who can't take my honesty owe me nothing and I owe them nothing. Relationship is about respecting boundaries and I will be the first person to admit that my honesty can cross boundaries people are not prepared to deal with because honesty, true honesty, is often too cutting for people to hear. When I see something wrong, I want to do something about it and often the only tool I have is my honesty. What I struggle with in others is a lack of honesty and when my honesty and their dishonesty lock up...well, it's rarely a pleasant scene. It is not that my honesty trumps anything. In fact, there are times that my opinion is based solely upon the opinions of others without any actual experience myself. When this happens, I am honest with myself so I can learn from that lesson. I would like to believe that other people do the same thing but I see little evidence to support that in the two friends I have lost this year. In essence, I will remain honest with myself and with others because that is my value to my community. Honesty is not about being right or being wrong, it is about presenting your perspective to people. Sometimes honesty doesn't matter to others, it should at least matter to me.
12.) I will continue demonstrating to my son that women have value that transcends their physical presence and so do men
This is a big one for me because I believe men and women are absolutely equal. It is sad to me that women in my culture have, by and large, been raised and socialized to feel inferior to men. It's an imbalance that makes my stomach churn. Sure, we can make general statements about men or women, you can make generalizations about any group of people based on common characteristics. Generalizations though, have become definitions to too many people. We can use a generalization to point us in a certain direction but upon closer inspection will often find the details to be much more varied. One might say for example, that "Men like to hunt" but there are many men who hunt for many different reasons and many who don't hunt. The same thing can be true of nearly any generalization but we can't take generalizations too far and most people do. That's when generalizations take on the tone of institutional prejudice. There is a LOT of institutional prejudice out there that we need to be aware of. Personally, I want my son to recognize first that women are equal, I feel that the other things will follow. However, the best way to teach him that, is to (as previously stated) simply demonstrate it for him and the best way to demonstrate it for him, is to treat his mother (the lovely lady in my life) with the respect she deserves as a human being and extend that to everyone I interact with. I'm not going to teach him about how bad institutional prejudice has become, I am going to demonstrate how to deconstruct it on a personal level and allow him the chance to expand on his own.
13.) I will make sure to share something of value with people via social media at least once per week
This was originally slated for within the facebook group that I first wrote these for but in reality, there is a lot of "posting" stuff on facebook without a lot of "This is what I think about this" It is easy to share a picture or a video or a quote but if we don't qualify what the non-humor related stuff means to us, then all our "friends" have to go on is the article itself. I've allowed myself to be drawn into silly arguments over that very thing. I need to be better about explaining my thoughts to others along with that stuff. If I'm going to do it at all, I should at least do it right.
14.) I will journal more and I will work on making sure that I post at least one Blog entry for every calendar week.
The problem with me is that I write best when I am fired up about something or have something I think is meaningful to share. When I was writing the "Path of the Warrior" series I managed to pump that out in a couple of weeks and I was very proud of that...since then...well, this is the first post in nearly a month. I get going on something like blogging and if the Awen isn't speaking I'll watch T.V. instead...I need to learn to focus more and making a deadline for myself, even if it's shit, will be of value to me because in the end, that is what this effort is about. What motivates and drives me may be worth it for others to read, perhaps not. In the end, I choose the level of my own involvement...I guess it's time to choose.
So, that is the end of my New Year resolutions and I invite you to observe me bungle them for the next Three Hundred and Sixty-Some-Odd days. May this coming calendar year bless you with abundance enough to share with those it did not.
No comments:
Post a Comment