I sat on the edge of a couch in a living room in Hollis, Maine during my third day of Druid College in late November with my 39th birthday hovering over me and staring at the red brick of a fireplace adorned with all sorts of ornamental Druid stuff. There were bowls and candles and other things that indicated that I was in a place of great reverence for the natural world and I had just been asked a question about what gifts I could offer my community. So I stared at the red brick and thought about what my gift to our community could possibly be.
Of course, it jumped out at me right away but so too, did the excuses as to why that was not possible. As always, I am the greatest hurdle to my own success and the greatest progenitor of my own failure. So I thought of other things. I am a decent writer, some folks even say good. I am charming and charismatic. I can be funny and wise and sometimes both at the same time. I have a great sense of humor and I am fair (most of the time) and honest (sometimes too honest). I can take a decent photograph.
As I sorted through all of these things I thought to myself that other people in the room seemed so much more gifted than I am. Everyone seemed charismatic and charming. Everyone seemed to have a great sense of humor and everyone writes. There were people playing guitar and fiddle and drums that were much more advanced than I am (If you have ever held a guitar for more than a few minutes you are more advanced than I) and I thought to myself "I have too much to learn before I have something to offer."
I do this to myself quite frequently though. It comes from a lifetime of being told that I need to do more, do better. I need to outshine everyone else in the things that I do so that I can be at the top looking down on everyone else and even though this is what I was taught, it is not what is in my heart. I don't want to be the best, I just want to be able to add value and insight. I want to be involved in the community that understands that it is greater than the sum of its parts.
As with most things, your first instinct is usually the best...so I am going to make a film, a documentary. Actually, I am going to make Four.
The idea came to me a month later when I was thinking about how wonderful the Pagan community in Maine really is. In the two years I have been formally active, I have observed calls to action that often go unheeded in other communities but are immediately joined by many of the members of our own. It is not uncommon to see such commitment in Church communities, but in a community where nearly everyone worships a different set of deities, the sense of community here is astonishing, wonderful and refreshing.
I am certain that like many other communities, personal politics walks on to the floor at times, after all, Pagans are human beings like everyone else. Even though there are personal differences among people, most often when the chips are down folks come together to make common cause. I have never heard a racist joke from any of my fellow Pagans, nor a joke about same sex couples or transgender folk either. People occasionally tease each other about nearly anything but I have never seen it done out of cruelty or malice.
There are of course, here and there, folks who tear others down. As a community you are always going to encounter people who wish to see the negative in others more than the positive. However, the vast majority of the community seems invested in coming together and celebrating their diversity and creativity and that is what I want to capture. I want to tell a story about Maine Pagans and the connective tissue that makes us a community and a tribe.
So, that was my initial idea and I am quite excited about the project. I plan to begin filming on Samhain of this year and complete principle photography Nov. 1st of 2014, the day after Samhain of that year. This means that the principle piece of the project will run a year and a day. Right now the working title is "The Wheel of the Year in Maine" but that title will likely change before the film is "released".
I have never done documentary filming before so in an effort to prepare myself I will be doing Three shorter documentary films to prepare myself. Each of these smaller films will range from 15-20 minutes long. I will be doing one on The Temple of the Feminine Divine in Bangor, Maine; One on Druid College in Hollis, Maine; and one will be about the longstanding tradition of Beltane on the Beach held yearly at Popham Beach State Park, Phippsburg, Maine. I have already received permission and endorsement from each of them to film. At this point, the important piece will be finding folks who are comfortable being in the documentary and provisions will be made to ensure that the personal space of those who are uncomfortable is respected . Each of these smaller documentaries will be created and provided to the folks in these organizations to be used as informational or publicity footage with no cost to them. I feel strongly that doing these documentaries will allow me to share a gift with my community in a way that can remind us of the reason we call ourselves a tribe.
I intend to crowd source for funding because the equipment I have will not do what I need it to if I wish to make a documentary of this type. Since the three smaller projects will likely be used on the interwebs, the Sony Handycam I currently own, plus a piece of audio equipment for recording that will be on loan to me, should be more than enough to get me by. Therefore I intend to use a funding site like gofundme or kickstarter. At present, the only thing I need is the right equipment. I am happy to absorb the travel expenses but any money not spent on equipment will be used to offset that cost. In the end, if I have to, I will do this with my little Sony handycam because I feel this project is important and valuable. It is my wish to do it in a manner that looks professional and I cannot do that with the equipment I have presently. If I am meant to make this film with better equipment, awesome. If not, I still mean to make this film, even on a shoestring budget.
It is very likely that I will open another blog with the purpose of keeping people updated on the film's progress. If all goes well then I expect to be able to release the film by Imbolc of 2015 or sooner.
I was first drawn to Druidry by the Bardic path and though I am no longer happy to be "just" a bard, storytelling is what I am good at and I want to tell the story of our community. In the event that this film makes money, all proceeds will be held for other projects along similar lines or donated to charity, most likely the latter. However, it's important to note that this project is not about making money and I don't expect it to. My expectation for this film is to give Maine Pagan's something to be proud of...themselves.
If you are interested in participating, assisting or donating to this project, please feel free to contact me @ silverbearbard@gmail.com
The blog site for the project is: /http://mainepagandoc.blogspot.com/
May you all find shade and sweet water.
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